How have things changed?

I haven't written in or even looked at this blog in 3 to 4 years. So how have things changed?  When I recently decided to come back to this blog, I expected that i would read over posts that i wrote in the past and find that a lot had changed. I feel like I've changed and grown so much that i expected this to be reflected in some substantial way to how I felt in the past versus how I feel about things now. I was surprised to realize that my core values are unchanged, and exactly the same as they were in the past. I read over every post and I can say that i still agree with everything I said then. So how have things changed? The major change has been in my experience level. I was relatively inexperienced back then and though I'm no expert now, i can say i know a lot more, have a lot more experience with everything, and have gained great confidence in my abilities, as both a dominatrix and as a woman in general.  So, how did my relationships go over the last few years. Well, I played with 2 main subs for a few years. Then my work schedule changed and i had less time for me, so I let one go and just played occasionally with the other. During this time, I focused on my kids, took some college classes, and attempted a long term relationship which unfortunately failed. Now I have been able to make time for myself again, hopefully for good, and i am focusing on things that i need to do for me. Things like physical fitness, martial arts, some college classes I've been meaning to finish, etc. Oh, and most importantly, I'm ready to establish that long term, female led relationship with 2 wonderful submissive males, whoever they may be.   

Do I like watching my sissies dress?

Do I like watching my sissies dress in their pretty clothes?

Ive been asked this a few times. Do I really enjoy watching my sissies dress and is it for their pleasure or mine. I do enjoy watching them, but not for the reason many think. I do not get aroused just from watching them dress and pose. I am aroused from a mans submission, pure and simple, and that is the subject of another post. When a sissy dresses for me, he is transformed, and I cant claim to know what he is really feeling, but it must be something wonderfull, because it shows. I love the look on his face, the attitude, the stance when he is dressed. I like watching his transformation. Last month I went to my first drag queen show. The men there in drag were beautiful to me. They model femininity in such a way that it is almost a worship. In the vanilla world a man in drag is usually laughed at. I feel like defending every one of them to the world. Let the world shut its eyes then to the beauty of a man modeling the glory of a femininity that is so strong that it can lull even the desires of a male. Recently sissy newbie has been exploring cd. He modeled his first outfits for me this Sunday. I felt like I was watching him blossom. I must be a sappy mistress, I get proud of my boys sometimes. 

Time for two boys in one day

Busy, busy, busy, that is how life has been lately. Ive had no time to get online and update things here unfortunately. Work, school, kids, it all kind of blurrs together in a big jumble of a busy life. Most people who read my blog already know I am in search of my own special sub right now. There are some potentials but I dont even know that there are any clear forerunners yet. Mostly I dont feel the desire in anyone. Sadly to say the two most enthusiastic subs I know are the ex, whos not even a possibility (hes a bit slow and doesnt quite understand this yet) and the newbie, whos also not a possibility as he is married and hense out of the competition. Anyways, in the midst of my busy schedule, I do find time to work on my 'mate search', as I like to call it. Of course I must make time for this, a most worthy of all endeavors and sorely needed, as anyone who has seen the state of my current house can attest to. Not that Im looking for someone just because I need help with housework. Of course Im seeking a mate for the same reason all women do, love, companionship, mutual need. Can a domme be sappy here? LOL at myself at the moment. Its a little late and Ive had a long day and Im probably a little sleepdrunk. But I digress, as I frequently do. LOL again. So the point of today's blog was that in the midst of all this busyness in life I actually found time two enjoy 2 subs today. I just had to share since that is a first for me. The first was sissy newbie who got his little hole devirginized today, also a first for me. There is some awesome emotional pride in the thought of having ones first ass virgin. He even got milked on his first time. And get this, that was also my first successfull milking. A day of firsts, so you see why I had to get online and post, even though its in the middle of the night. Newbie also got some bondage, domination, a couple of spankings, and a nice warm colonic. Can life get any better than that? Later in the evening I got together with the ex (I really have to stop doing that) for spanking (of course), finger fucking, and some not so gentle CBT. Newbie was definitely more fun. Well, that was pretty much my day. Two boys in the midst of a busy day filled with errands. A day of multiple firsts and multiple orgasms (for me).

My play dates should comment here about their experiences.

Here is a post area that I've set up for my subs to comment about their sessions with me.

The ex's session

Some were wondering how the ex did for his real domination experience. He did very well. There is a pic of him in my walmart dog collars. Youll notice they actually match his outfit. The nice thing about the walmart dog collars is that they come in a variety of colors. They dont look quite as sturdy as the wider leather looking collars that the adult stores sell, but as long as you buy sturdy ones they do the trick really well. you can connect them with carabiners or chains or you can even use walmart brought dog leashes to tie your guy up. Also, if you dont have a bed post like I dont, you can still strap your sub to the bed. just attach your dog collar to dog leash and or a lashing strap (found in the camping or utility departments) and run it under the mattress. If you run it all the way under and to the other side and tie something big around it, it is really quite secure. Ill try to get a picture of this one day. But I digress from the original subject of my post. So, I did not do a whole lot of exciting things with mark. just some spanking, some bondage, and a nice ass pounding from a big dildo. that part was the most fun. I was surprised by how much he was able to take. I finally got my front porch cleared up or at least mostly organized. I did not do a lot of domination or humiliation with him. In truth, I did not want to. It just felt like he was not the right guy to dominate. He isnt the right guy in general for me, and so it seemed like just a kink fix or a skills practice session. Although it was fun, especially the parts where he had to use his tongue, it just felt like he wasnt the right guy for domination and that kind of tainted the experience. Anyways that was last week, and ive been busy and havent gotten around to writing about it till now. But just today I had a much better experience with sissy r, which ill have to write about later when I have more time.

Mistress Yelanda's 5 rules of submission

The five key components of submission are obedience, honesty, trust, respect, and desire. I think if you cover these five components, everything else will fall into place.

Obedience is the key to submission and the foundation of any flr.
True honesty lays the submissive bare and vulnerable to his mistress.
Trust in a mistress is necessary for true submission.
Respect is proven through obedience, behavior, and acceptance of the mistress' lead.
Desire to submit and serve a mistress is a preexisting requirement.

Finger fucking an ex husband

So last night after class, I stopped at my ex husbands apartment and gave him a very good finger fucking. How this came to occur is an interesting story. First let me give you some history. So, Ive been divorced from my ex husband, will call him Mark, for a few years, but Id kicked him out the house a few years before that, so it has been a rather long while since we’ve been together. Of all the men that I would like to dominate, I have to say I would have chosen him absolutely last. Of course he doesn’t know this. There has been way too much water under the bridge and I could never get back together with him, but I was horny and the couple of subs I am talking to right now have schedules that don’t coincide with mine. So, that’s how I ended up at my ex husbands apartment for a nice session of domination for the first time ever. I put him to the wall first, which is how I love to start off a domination session. I gave him a nice spanking open handed, and I was so surprised by how much he liked it. Its very enjoyable to spank a man who likes it so much, but I didn’t want to go too far with him for his first spanking. Afterwards I lubed him up well and entered his ass with my finger. Wonderfull, I went slow with him, and he easily took one then two. I already knew he would love this as we did used to do this in our marriage a lot. I moved him to all fours on his bed with his ass in the air, and went to work on 3 fingers. He was so responsive it was a big turn on. Then I got 4 fingers in his ass, something I would never have tried in our marriage, and I was in heaven, because I knew with a little practice Id be able to get my whole fist in there. What a wonderfull thing to look forward to. I was running out of time since this had to be a quick stop as I had other things to do already and realy I only meant it to be a quick taste test for him to see if he could handle it. I had him wait there for a second while I went to wash my hands. When I got back I couldn’t resist the urge to spank him a few times with his belt. He took it so well. So now, I will be seeing him again tomorrow for a real session. Cant wait. Poor sissy R was wanting to get together tomorrow, but he got pushed back till next week so I can give my ex husband a real good fucking.