I can say that im new to
this lifestyle, and although that’s true, its also not true. I can say that my
journey has been one of self re-discovery. You see, long ago, as a child I was a
naturally dominant female. But, my family, feeling I suppose that such was not
acceptable for a little girl, set about stripping me of this natural state and
imposed a very submissive lifestyle on me. Of course, children are easily
moldable and I ended up living a very vanilla life for more than 30 years.
In my life I was not even
aware that submissive men existed. Believe it or not, I did not really
understand that it was ok for me to be aggressive or assertive. It wasn’t even
that I thought it was just wrong to be a dominant worman, it was in my mind
just not possible. The idea did exist as a fantasy in my teenage mind, and it
continued to be seen only as a fantasy to me. I believed it was inherently
wrong of me to ask for what I wanted in life or in bed and always put the needs
of my family above my own. I remember when I actually accepted that it was ok
to take care of myself first so that I had energy to take care of my family and
I remember what a relief it was to actually accept that concept as true. So, I spent
my whole vanilla life, dampening down my dominant tendencies, learning to keep
my mouth shut when I would like to speak passionately, learning to not take the
lead role unless no one else would step up, learning to find the strength of
submission as satisfying.
So when I discovered the existence
of submissive men I was shocked. And after the initial shock wore off, I was
elated. My natural tendencies were reawakened and they came charging through to
the forefront and I feel as though I have awaked a sleeping beast that will
never ever sleep again. So that is how I have come to understand what it means
to come full circle and meet yourself again.
