Am I sadistic?

This is another post of a personal nature. I am asking myself if I am possibly sadistic. I dont think so, yet I think of some of the things that I like and want to do and I have to wonder. Today, while walking through walmart I passed the pet aisle and happened to see out of the corner of my eyes all the dog collars hanging there. My mind immediately went kinky.At that moment, I was not putting those dog collars around his neck like you might guess. I was thinking, is there one small enough I could put around the base of his balls. So this created a wonderfull musing in my brain as I passed up the aisle that would not go away. I was thinking how most dog collars have a little ring on them for the dog leash, and how using a dog leash and walking him along by his penis like that, would be so very arousing. So, yes I had to turn around, and go back and check out the dog collars and yes I did find small ones that look like they will fit around the base of a mans balls. Ok, so I cant wait to get a guy to try this out on. After a little while, then it occurs to me that there are dog collars that look big enough to fit around a mans neck also. So, what I am curious about is if I come up with these weird things myself and they just pop into my head, is this saying something about me. The dog collar or balls collar as it will turn out to be if I can get it to work that way, brought to the forefront another nagging concern Ive been having. I am worried that doing some of the things that I want to do could mean Im sadistic. I guess I think that would be bad. Im not going to go into details. Thankfully Ive been talking to some men who would really like me to do these things to them, so I dont think it would be wrong at all to do this. I think our needs would match up perfectly, they seem to need what I want to give. But is it sadistic of me to want, to really desire, intrisincly to give it to them, not just out of some sense of duty or feminine obligation to please her man, but out of something internal and deep rooted and really totally selfish on my part? Hmhh, something to think about I suppose. The internal musings of a mistress.