Are women superior to men?

Are women superior to men?

Women and men are different. Each gender brings a set of skills and innate abilities to the table and both are necessary for a healthy society. When we speak of superiority of one gender over the other we run the risk of becoming a sort of gender racist. This is not a place we want to be in femdom. I believe that women, in general, are better at communicating, collaborating, organizing and leading. I also believe that women are the natural leaders and caretakers of their families and should be the only gender allowed to lead governments and societies. 

What is FemDom?

I believe that in its simplest terms, Femdom is a type of relationship in which the female partner is more dominant than the male. The term does have broader applications though as in some relationships that are termed femdom both partners are female and in others there are more than 2 partners. In all femdom relationships male partners are required to submit to females. It is my belief that the men that seek femdom or female lead relationships both want and need to submit to their women. Whether the need to submit is biological or psychological in nature I cant truly say, but I suspect that although psychology plays a factor, submission is a physiological innate need.  It seems that most women come into femdom relationships at a prompting from boyfriends and husbands and spend a lot of time getting used to the idea. The intensity level of domination and the tools used by a female to dominate her submissive vary widely. Ive recognized four common types of femdom relationships. 

     The first is short term. You can define this as just getting together to play. The partners meet and then separate after a set period of time. They are not likely emotionally attached to one another. I think professional dominatrix fall into this category. You can have any level of domination intensity short term. I believe it is more difficult however for the sub to develop the type of trust that is required to truly submit in this type of relationship.  

     The second type of femdom ive noticed is bedroom femdom. In this type the female is in complete control in the bedroom. Her domination is focused on her mates sexuality and in their sexual relationship. Her domination may move naturally out of the bedroom and into some aspects of everyday life, but her mate maintains an air of control or at least equality in most other aspects of their lives and relationship. 

     The third type is the most common type of femdom relationship. What most of us would consider the average female led relationship, wife led marriage, or loving female authority relationship. The partners are emotionally attached to one another and there is usually an air of permanence whether the sub is a bf or husband. The intensity of domination varies but it is not usually extremely controlling in the average femdom relationship. There is usually the use of some type of BDSM kink, but again this is not usually of the extreme type. Male chastity and orgasm control are frequently used tools, as well as spankings for sensual play and punishment. Men are usually required to do some housework and show some service to their women. 

     In the fourth type is the extreme femdom relationship. It is the same as the third only taken to more extreme levels. The female controls every aspect of her males life in this type, from his sexuality, to his career and finances, to his food choices. This is the category for those men who wish to be slaves. I can not yet say what drives a male to need this type of control in his life, but I know that the need is out there and that many men need to be owned by a loving female authority. I also don’t think that the average femdom woman is really comfortable owning or training a slave. The intensity of domination can vary in this type but it tends towards the most extreme.  

     This is how I see femdom and categorize it. I would like to work with some other women in forming a femdom training center to both support femdom women in their endeavors and provide training for both dommes and subs in femdom. Any comments and oppinions are greatly appreciated.

On Monogamy

Here are my feelings on monogamy. Ive spent my entire vanilla life as a monogamous person. It seemed to work well for me and I was very proud of my record of monogamous loyalty. But now as Ive reconnected with myself (in a sence), I realize that I don’t have any of the strong feelings of the rightness of monogamy that I expected I should. Instead I can see circumstances where having two mates could come in handy. So, Ive had to ask myself do I still believe in monogamy, in reality, did I ever really believe in it in the first place. Ive always fantasized of having two men in my life, one older and one younger, both being good at different things, having unequal abilities and skills but equally important to the relationship. In my dream world, one is the alpha and one the subordinate male, and it would take some finesse on my part to manage the two of them. So, I have to admit that although I played the part very well, I never really believed that there was anything inherently so much better about monogamy. Yet, Im still very proud of my record of loyalty. And here is why. I don’t have any strong feelings one way or the other in respect to the correctness of monogamy. But I do have strong feelings of doing what is right for my mate. So, if my man needs me to be monogamous, than I am proud to provide for him by being so. Now, this may seem opposite to the ideals of female domination. But I don’t think so. I believe that in D/s relationships the dominant partner has a lot of responsibilities towards the submissive partner, the most important of which is to know their needs and provide for the most important needs of mates and family. I do say needs, not every single want. There is a big difference between the two. So, my feelings are that yes, I can easily be a monogamous person, and will do so if necessary for my mate and family. 

Sadistic? Doesnt matter.

After a long discussion with my best friend and some serious thought, I have come to the conclusion that although I don’t know whether it is sadism or not, it ultimately doesn’t really matter. In the end, what does matter is that two people each get what they need from the relationship. That someone needs and wants what I need and want to give and vice versa so that each comes away satisfied. I have come to think of the participants in a D/s relationship as the opposite sides of the same coin. Initially, I was very concerned with where all of this comes from. A lot of my domination fantasies actually emerged in my early teens and Ive often wondered how a teenage girl comes up with such thoughts on her own. It was really a natural emergence, with fantasy and desire and need sprouted from the pool of my own femininity. What I have now come to understand is that this particular journey is about acceptance and fulfillment, and that psychoanalyzing why is really counterproductive to the enjoyment and love of life.

Am I sadistic?

This is another post of a personal nature. I am asking myself if I am possibly sadistic. I dont think so, yet I think of some of the things that I like and want to do and I have to wonder. Today, while walking through walmart I passed the pet aisle and happened to see out of the corner of my eyes all the dog collars hanging there. My mind immediately went kinky.At that moment, I was not putting those dog collars around his neck like you might guess. I was thinking, is there one small enough I could put around the base of his balls. So this created a wonderfull musing in my brain as I passed up the aisle that would not go away. I was thinking how most dog collars have a little ring on them for the dog leash, and how using a dog leash and walking him along by his penis like that, would be so very arousing. So, yes I had to turn around, and go back and check out the dog collars and yes I did find small ones that look like they will fit around the base of a mans balls. Ok, so I cant wait to get a guy to try this out on. After a little while, then it occurs to me that there are dog collars that look big enough to fit around a mans neck also. So, what I am curious about is if I come up with these weird things myself and they just pop into my head, is this saying something about me. The dog collar or balls collar as it will turn out to be if I can get it to work that way, brought to the forefront another nagging concern Ive been having. I am worried that doing some of the things that I want to do could mean Im sadistic. I guess I think that would be bad. Im not going to go into details. Thankfully Ive been talking to some men who would really like me to do these things to them, so I dont think it would be wrong at all to do this. I think our needs would match up perfectly, they seem to need what I want to give. But is it sadistic of me to want, to really desire, intrisincly to give it to them, not just out of some sense of duty or feminine obligation to please her man, but out of something internal and deep rooted and really totally selfish on my part? Hmhh, something to think about I suppose. The internal musings of a mistress.

No Safewords

I dont like safewords. Here's why. It gives the sub the last word, the ultimate authority and control over an activity. To me this is a form of topping from the bottom. The sub does reach true submission  without acceptance of authority and loss of control. I want my men to trust in my ability to bring them to the edge but to not let them fall, to know when to explore their boundraies and when to play it safe and stick close to their comfort zones.  I want my submissive man to trust me as I will trust him. Sometimes this would be understandably difficult, it's like the only way to know that you will land safe and sound is to jump off the cliff and prove it, an act of faith and trust, that exposes vulnerabilities and leaves one open to wounding. This is why communication is so important and the sub has a responsibility to answer honestly when being asked about their needs, desires, fears and vulnerablities. It is extremely important to me that a man be able to communicate well and listen carefully and be obedient as I guide them in giving over control.

 

Acceptable behaviors

     So, one thing I have learned as a new mistress is that it is imperative that any potential men in my life understand what is expected of them from the beginning,

     Ive come to realize that its important for any dominant female, be they mistress, dominatrix, or goddess, to have clearly identified her own strengths, weaknesses, needs, desires, limits, comfort zones, and areas of opportunity in order to provide guidelines for her mans behaviors. It is her job to guide him to the right choices, through the expression of her desires, and to instruct him in how to please her. He must be provided with clearly defined acceptable behaviors in order to please her and maintain access to a peaceful, loving, nurturing relationship for them both. I believe that as a kind, accepting, and loving mistress, once error is accepted and punished, mistakes are left behind, not to be worried over again, so the relationship moves on, without guilt to color it.

     Some things that are important to me may not necessarily be important to another woman, therefore some acceptable behaviors are unique to ones individual relationship. However, I assume that certain expected behaviors, such as obedience and respect, are universal. For me, I also expect my man to respond in what I consider a timely manner, to show his desire for me, to appreciate the many things I would do for him, and to trust me to explore his boundaries.