Just because a man is
submissive, does not mean he will automatically know how to make his wife,
girlfriend, or mistress feel loved, cherished, or special anymore than a
vanilla man will. I think however, that a submissive man is more willing to do
what is necessary to please her. This does not mean that he knows what to do to
please a woman. So, he has the same difficulty as any other man, in that he
cant read her mind. Therefore, men, please listen attentively to what she is
saying and what she asks of you, because this is the best way to know what she
needs, wants, and desires. Doing what your woman says and completing tasks she
asks of you is the best way to please her. I think that men in a femdom or wife
led marriage are lucky because in most cases they don’t have to try to guess or
decipher what their woman wants from them. Most women who have found the
freedom of a femdom relationship have also found the freedom of honestly
expressing their wants and needs and the fortune of having them met.
Sometimes it seems like
femdom focuses a lot on the needs and wants of the female. I wonder if males
ever worry that their needs are neglected. Well, I want to let them know that
the mans needs are never neglected. The truth is that your woman is always
thinking about you, as caretakers of the family, it comes naturally to most of
us. Whatever a mans needs and wants are, he can bet his woman knows about them,
and irregardless he will almost always have his needs met automatically as a
function of maintaining the family unit. But what of the womans needs, what man
can say that he is so intuitive that he knows automatically what his woman
needs. A womans mind is like a mystery to a man, and it is a rare and
unexpected man to decipher the world of women. Therefore while his needs are
easily met hers are met only when she manages to get the message across. So once
again I encourage the male gender to pay attention to what his woman is saying.
A trap that ive seen a lot
of men fall into is this. His wife or girlfriend tells him something. Now she
has told him this because it is important to her. Now he doesn’t recognize the
importance of what she has said. He doesn’t recognize what shes said as
important because he doesn’t understand how it could be. You see, it wasn’t all
that important to him, and he thinks that it doesn’t make sense to do this
particular thing. Therefore, he neglects to do this because it was not that
important to him and he doesn’t see how it could be so important to her. The problem
here is that he assumes that her mind has prioritized things the way his has. Whatever
she is focusing on you can be sure it is about the maintenance of the family,
providing for their future, and assuring everyones happiness. Ive no idea what
you men generally focus on but to me as a women I can tell you it seems like an
awfull lot of you are just selfish, that the first thought that pops into your
head is your own self, survival, and pleasure. Particularly you bachelors. Irregardless,
he could have still pleased his wife by just doing what she said in the first
place instead of thinking about whether he should do it. I think that a guy is
already in trouble, if hes even taking the time to think about what she said
instead of just jumping right to it.
The last thing that I will
say about this subject is that sometimes it is not exactly about what the guy
thinks it is about. If I ask a guy to take out the trash, then that’s what he
needs to do to make me happy. But, the reason I need him to take out the trash
is not really because of sanitation concerns, it is really because I need him
to contribute to the household, I need his help in general. I could do the
trash myself, I have arms, but this is a great way for him to contribute to the
household. When he fails to do so, I am not worried about sanitation, I am
worried about his desire to contribute, and about his desire to help, and about
his commitment to the family. A lot of time men don’t really know the reason we
are asking them to do something, they think they do, but frequently they do not
really understand. If you still think that taking out the trash is more about
sanitation than about commitment to helping your family then in my opinion you
are not getting it.
In focusing my desire toward a wife led marriage and working toward that end, I've found that the most important thing I can do is listen to her and obey her immediately. I have already asked her to be the dominant partner and promised my submission to her. Now I work to prove this is what I really want, by always following her lead and doing exactly what she says without questioning or complaining.
ReplyDeleteAnd that often means changing my listening so that when she expresses a desire, I hear that as a command to be obeyed at once. That has, frankly, required a lot of self-discipline in my life, because I spent 30 years deciding how much of what she wanted had validity and how much of it I would do, and when I would do it. That's not "wife in charge"that's "me in charge".
My wife now knows that when she tells me no, that means no. When she says, "the garbage can is full," she knows I will IMMEDIATELY DROP whatever it is I am doing and take out the garbage AT ONCE- because I took her statement as a direct order. (Which, in fact, is exactly what it was.)
The more I obey her in this way, the more she comes to expect it, and the more assertive she becomes with me. It's wonderful!